Seeing the prompt for Wicked Wednesday was ‘take care of yourself’ I thought this post fit quite nicely.
We made good use of the bikes Mr E had before the children came along. A quick blast around, a visit to friends, a night away. There weren’t many times when the bike came out that I wasn’t perched on the back of it. It was always good fun and put a grin on my face. Getting pregnant restricted, ok stopped, me riding out. Then when the baby (T1-thing 1) arrived the lack of childcare continued to put a stop to it. With T1 great responsibility came along with a reality check, slap across the face.
When T1 was about 8 months an opportunity arose for me to have a ride out with Mr E. I shimmied (OK shoehorned) into my leathers and hopped onto the postage stamp of a pillion seat and hung on for dear life. Mr E had been riding out without me and was used to the bike. I however had not and was not. About 15 minutes in and I was struggling to hold back tears. With Mr E banking around a corner and winding up the power as the floor came nearer to us, I felt no high just fear. This was a new one on me. Thoughts that I couldn’t be so wreakless with a child to look after now. So when Mr E stopped to check in with me, I asked if we could go home. I had lost my confidence.
Fast forward and T1 and T2 can be left for a while so Mr E asked if I would like to go for a ride out on the bike. He himself had limited time on the bike over the past year and the bike he has now is more a sports tourer with a bigger pillion seat and grab rail behind me. Actually, yes, I would like a ride out. I am nervous, apprehensive but excited. This could be fun.
My vision, sitting behind Mr E, is limited, by myself, as I want to stay in his slipstream. Better for both of us. For the most part the view is the back of his head with limited views to either side. But we’re not here for the scenery or have a look around. If we wanted to do that we would go out in the car or for a nice walk. This is more about the feeling, the experience. On windy roads I get to see more where we are going. A glimpse over Mr E’s shoulder of the road ahead.
Making a connection… my experience of riding pillion is primarily to trust Mr E. I have no control, the acceleration, braking, banking around corners is all down to him. As his pillion rider, I have to rely on my instincts and react to what he is doing. Accepting this and relaxing my body to ‘follow his lead’ allows me to tap into my submissive space. The position straddling the bike with my hands behind my back, to hold the grab rail, also relatable to positions in play (although my hands weren’t tied to the bike they might as well be because there’s no way on earth I would let go). Constantly alert to the situation to respond quickly, ready for acceleration, ready for braking. If Mr E takes a corner I need to be with him. It’s not good if he’s banking over and I sit up !
Maybe it’s the vibrations from the bike, the adrenaline of the ride or the connection with my submission, whatever it is, it gives me a high, a buzz and I like it, I like it a lot. Bring on the dryer weather so we can get out more. I know it helps clear headspace for both of us.